Practice Practice Practice

While assessing the results of 2010 and preparing ourselves for 2011 - one thing people may not consider is practice. What would you like to practice every day? What could become a practice you do every day? There are some key elements to practice that are important to consider. 


1. Consistency: choose to practice something you really are motivated to do on a consistent basis. Often, we can begin by tweaking a practice already in use. Is there something you do every day that can be modified to meet your new aspirations? Are there key things you do each day that may serve as a regular, repeatable stepping off point for the new habit? For example  - push ups can be easily incorporated by saying that you will always drop and do them after going to the restroom, or after some other regular activity. Just drop and do them wherever you are.


2. High Interest: If you don't like it - don't kid yourself. Intense bribery is likely the only route. Choose something easier, more pleasant - and link it to something else. Such as - I can have coffee, but only after eating a healthy breakfast which includes no bread and a fruit, and the coffee can only be without sugar (I have done this one, and I got used to black coffee within about 9 days). 


3. An old love: Something you have tried before and wish you had succeeded at. If you tried it before, you may find it easier to stick to it this time. You can check out this web site and see where you would place yourself in the stages of change. You will want to be at the Preparation stage or "higher" to choose this goal with some likelihood of success. 


4. Process: Choose a process and have a goal to the process. 2010 was the "Year of the Muse" for me. I took each month to work on developing a form of creativity. I appreciate this approach because each month I have leeway - I can change the approach and still meet the goal. I do stick to one item for a month, with the end of the month as a time to re-evaluate and decide whether to continue to shift the approach. I spent the first three months with one project. The next three months I changed art forms each month. During the last six months I figured out which art I wanted to focus on and stayed the course for the rest of the year. A monthly check-in with the expectation to re-evaluate is helpful for staying reflective and on track. 


Write in to say what you may be contemplating for the next year's process... I haven't yet decided mine. I would love to hear some ideas. 

New Year's Resolutions - Coming Soon

While working on the holiday lists, and contemplating all that needs to be done, why not take a break to think over the last year?

Suggestion for preparing to make a New Year's Resolution:
Use the time in the car, in the shower, on the couch for 5 minutes to look back at the year and really appreciate what this year was about for you. What have you accomplished? What have you learned this year? What do you appreciate most that has come this year? Try to keep it positive for now... but look at those things you really appreciated about your own approach to your family life, to your work, and to your creative practices.

Also, what have you really appreciated from others? Who showed you a special kindness you still remember? Who was it that just did that little extra you never said "thank you" for?

Be thinking of how you might be able to move into some special kind of giving in the next year. Nothing is solid. Just looking, watching, listening to how things are happening. Are you enjoying what you are doing for others? Are they enjoying being with you? How do want them to experience life with you?

Try not to make lists for next year, yet. Just use this time to watch how things are happening without changing anything.

I bet you'll be surprised to find some new delight you never fully appreciated before. If you don't see one... try to be more the observer and less the critic for now. Let the ideas come when they come instead of purposefully trying to think of them.

Today is a Day of Stars

Okay - so it may seem funny - but try just a little - what if today you realized you were the star of something... your life.. this situation you're in. What would happen. Use today to make it happen. Make calls you would never make, forget that you have a lack of luck. Know in your bones that that inkling you've had for weeks about a project or something else you're supposed to do - the time to do it is today. Don't consider it goofy to do this. Consider it a dare. An experiment.

Now tell me - what happened? We can take a poll and see if the results were good or bad... later.

Remember: "Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt.

Making Your Life Come to Life

Starting a fire in the fireplace for the first time since it got cold outside, I remembered something deep in my body, in my breath... that you have to love the flame in order  for it to grow under your air. Have you ever tried this? If you blow too hard, it doesn't stoke the fire at all. And blowing too softly does nothing; it will still go out. However, a firm yet gentle loving breath will stroke the fire and make the kindling catch. You give some of the breath of your life to the life of the fire.

So it is with whatever creative endeavor we seek to bring to a new level. The spark, the small flame of our idea is so vulnerable and needs our loving care to guide it to the next level of coming into existence.

This isn't some woo-woo idea about just feeling the project is important, but is really putting our own physical  work into the project, in the right amount, with the right timing. In this way it comes alive, but is not killed with our zealousness or a burn-out on enthusiasm. New projects literally can inspire (breath into) us. Some people get so excited they forget to sleep or give proper care to the idea, meaning rest.  Instead, they breath too hard - they act on it and act on it and spend all their energy right away, burning it up as they go so there is nothing left at the end of the day or at the end of the week, and their enthusiasm burns out.

What project or work are you thinking of as you read this? How can you give gentle pressure to your effort, without overkill? Around the holidays, so many people put so much effort into pleasing others and getting to all their friends and family that it can feel empty - like they are too exhausted to actually enjoy the fruits of their efforts, and they are burned out and restless on the actual day of celebration. How can you back off, but still give that controlled and loving effort to the work at hand?

Facing the Brutal Reality Isn't Brutal

No matter what you think, facing reality is better.

Radically accepting the reality in front of you means opening up to the possibility that what once seemed loathsome may be opportunity to grow. You may hate it, despise it, or plain refuse. This is the clincher. This is your opening. This is precisely the place to look for new solutions adaptations and re-imaging your life. What is in front of you is your palette.

Several years ago, I found myself alone in a new town with a job I hated. Even the grocery stores were "wrong" and didn't carry the foods I was used to. I couldn't get the treats or meals I had become accustomed to. This made the pain of being alone - with my husband out of state - and the lack of friends with whom I could commiserate- intensely painful for me.

I had to take three days to sit with it. Just sit in the pain and look at it. Then, a beautiful thing happened. I realized that there were no rules for this. If I didn't know how to deal with this, it meant I got to play with it, and see what happened. I perked up, started calling people, and began to collect recipes to make my favorite foods from scratch. Yes - I learned to cook. I also learned that the friends in front of you - even if you don't like them at first, can become really loving friends you adore and cherish for their own quirks.

Had I remained closed to the opportunity to play with the reality in front of me, I don't think I would have ever discovered the four great gifts I developed during that time.

What is real and in front of you that you loathe? Can you make friends with it? Can you play with it? I detest the term "making lemonade" - that seems dumb. Oranges don't make Mountain Dew - but there is some in there. No - Mountain Dew is a radical change, a perversion even, of the fruits involved. But it is good to the taste and a great treat on occasion.

What reality have you been avoiding that you could try a new approach to?

The Good Life

In Europe there has been a long discussion of the good life. .The French pride themselves on the "joie de vivre" and consider the cultivation of this of such import that even small children are guided in the art. Merriam Websters defines joie de vivre as "keen or buoyant enjoyment of life." Several sources share that in English this concept can be corrupted to joie de vie - the joy of life. However, in the French term there is a sentiment that it is an activity - something sought out and lived, not studied from afar or merely looked at, glimpsed.

In America, our small children are guided in the art of personal exploration of interests. Still, this tradition may be passing us by. Are the children of today being provided with a myriad of diversions rather than cultivation of the ability to provide diversions for others and themselves. This is a critical difference and can be overlooked in the lives of adults as well. Do you love to cook, or just the taste of good food? What is the action that you love the process of. If you don't know, why not start trying one activity a week until you discover something you get lost in? What makes times get lost for you? What can you do that builds a sense of love and a desire to share in you? Television is an answer I commonly get from adults. How sad. Do you know that you have the ability to create that "being lost" sense in  yourself, and to share it with others? How will you attempt this? It can be the beginning of a beautiful life of much more enjoyment and connection to others. Rather than having "friends" on the television, you can cultivate the mystery, the love story, the horror show, the decorating party all your own, in your home, with your friends.

For you, what would be the joie de vivre. Better than looking at how people in other cultures far away are attempting to find this, take a moment to delve deep and find an activity that feels this way to you. Looking at what you discover you enjoy, you can then take small steps (and small steps are key to success) in order to cultivate an experience that continues and becomes a joyful living for yourself. I look forward to hearing from you about how you experience this today - or this week.

What difficulties do you find? Where do you choose to start?

A Fellow Former Teacher Blogs...

...about the lack of realistic looking at what children can do. This great friend of mine is clear about what is real as well as what will save the soul of the child. You'll be provoked and maybe even think outside the box when it comes to your own progress in this life.

Check out her blog: http://gobacktostart.blogspot.com/