Facing the Brutal Reality Isn't Brutal

No matter what you think, facing reality is better.

Radically accepting the reality in front of you means opening up to the possibility that what once seemed loathsome may be opportunity to grow. You may hate it, despise it, or plain refuse. This is the clincher. This is your opening. This is precisely the place to look for new solutions adaptations and re-imaging your life. What is in front of you is your palette.

Several years ago, I found myself alone in a new town with a job I hated. Even the grocery stores were "wrong" and didn't carry the foods I was used to. I couldn't get the treats or meals I had become accustomed to. This made the pain of being alone - with my husband out of state - and the lack of friends with whom I could commiserate- intensely painful for me.

I had to take three days to sit with it. Just sit in the pain and look at it. Then, a beautiful thing happened. I realized that there were no rules for this. If I didn't know how to deal with this, it meant I got to play with it, and see what happened. I perked up, started calling people, and began to collect recipes to make my favorite foods from scratch. Yes - I learned to cook. I also learned that the friends in front of you - even if you don't like them at first, can become really loving friends you adore and cherish for their own quirks.

Had I remained closed to the opportunity to play with the reality in front of me, I don't think I would have ever discovered the four great gifts I developed during that time.

What is real and in front of you that you loathe? Can you make friends with it? Can you play with it? I detest the term "making lemonade" - that seems dumb. Oranges don't make Mountain Dew - but there is some in there. No - Mountain Dew is a radical change, a perversion even, of the fruits involved. But it is good to the taste and a great treat on occasion.

What reality have you been avoiding that you could try a new approach to?

The Good Life

In Europe there has been a long discussion of the good life. .The French pride themselves on the "joie de vivre" and consider the cultivation of this of such import that even small children are guided in the art. Merriam Websters defines joie de vivre as "keen or buoyant enjoyment of life." Several sources share that in English this concept can be corrupted to joie de vie - the joy of life. However, in the French term there is a sentiment that it is an activity - something sought out and lived, not studied from afar or merely looked at, glimpsed.

In America, our small children are guided in the art of personal exploration of interests. Still, this tradition may be passing us by. Are the children of today being provided with a myriad of diversions rather than cultivation of the ability to provide diversions for others and themselves. This is a critical difference and can be overlooked in the lives of adults as well. Do you love to cook, or just the taste of good food? What is the action that you love the process of. If you don't know, why not start trying one activity a week until you discover something you get lost in? What makes times get lost for you? What can you do that builds a sense of love and a desire to share in you? Television is an answer I commonly get from adults. How sad. Do you know that you have the ability to create that "being lost" sense in  yourself, and to share it with others? How will you attempt this? It can be the beginning of a beautiful life of much more enjoyment and connection to others. Rather than having "friends" on the television, you can cultivate the mystery, the love story, the horror show, the decorating party all your own, in your home, with your friends.

For you, what would be the joie de vivre. Better than looking at how people in other cultures far away are attempting to find this, take a moment to delve deep and find an activity that feels this way to you. Looking at what you discover you enjoy, you can then take small steps (and small steps are key to success) in order to cultivate an experience that continues and becomes a joyful living for yourself. I look forward to hearing from you about how you experience this today - or this week.

What difficulties do you find? Where do you choose to start?

A Fellow Former Teacher Blogs...

...about the lack of realistic looking at what children can do. This great friend of mine is clear about what is real as well as what will save the soul of the child. You'll be provoked and maybe even think outside the box when it comes to your own progress in this life.

Check out her blog: http://gobacktostart.blogspot.com/

Life's Savor

This blog is all about Life's Savor - Savoring Life and discovering what you think "the good life" is. Our country is ailing, flailing about, and looking for our own unique answer to this, life's most pressing question (well, once the food is in the belly and the clothes are on the bod). We all are searching, often desperately, for "THE GOOD LIFE." Often what defines a culture, its art, its shadows, its beauty, its food, its literature, its flavor - is precisely the communal development of an answer to this question - What is the good life?

In America, we deliberately choose to have individual answers to this question. I celebrate and appreciate this. However, what we come up with collectively will, nevertheless, be the aesthetics of our country. Our creative explorations and interests somewhat define our economics (particularly in our "Service"  (read entertainment and necessities) economy. Our choices and inclinations weave a pattern of American spending and collection to create our collective fingerprint which gets left on the coffee table of history.Our patchwork quilt of individual squares (made up of our buying habits, interests, Google searches and wall hangings)  is viewed front and center at the art gallery of the world. What do you want your own square to express, and how do you want the stitching to link you to the rest of us? Do you even think to take care of your searching and procuring habits?

This blog is a great place to start. You can take a moment today to answer these wonderful questions for yourself as a starting place.

1. What are the three most important qualities in a person?

2. What are the three achievements, activities, or creations that I am most proud of myself for?

3. What are the three things I would do if I had no worries about money, time, or access in any way?

Please post your own answers if you wish. Discussions are the fleshing out of the process. There are no wrong answers.